The porn parodies are getting a bit out of hand, but I couldn’t resist the tagline, “Hustler Hunts for Things That Go Hump in the Night!” Check out the trailer and press release below!

I wonder what porn company is working on the Paranormal Activity spoof? You know its coming.

Recently acquiring the talents of director S. Wayne, the This Ain’t Ghost Hunters XXX parody follows the PAPS team—the Pacific Association of the Paranormal Society—as they search for answers to the unexplained, the undead and the undersexed!

This is the first Hustler Video production directed by S. Wayne. Known throughout the industry, S. Wayne has been producing sexy monster thrillers and adult films since 1998. He garnered great success and awards for titles such as Tales From the Clit and Kung Foo Girls.

The This Ain’t Ghost Hunters XXX parody boasts some firsts for Hustler. It is the studio’s first foray into the supernatural as well as featuring one of its gorgeous female starlets performing her first anal scene…EVER! Newcomer Victoria White performs a very seductive and enticing scene with the powerhouse Mr. Pete. “You couldn’t tell it was her first time by watching her scene,” says Drew Rosenfeld, Creative Director at Hustler Video. “She is so hot and works Mr. Pete as if she’d been doing anal from the beginning!”

A frightened Victoria calls on the PAPS team to eliminate a very unwanted spirit from her home. Scared that she might be harmed, and hoping to appease the specter in question, Victoria screws Mr. Pete, our fearless spirit-chaser, until the ghost is satisfied. She sucks his huge cock until the ghost instructs her to ride him. Still not enough for this horny haunter, it demands Victoria take the huge dick into her petite pucker. Victoria works Mr. Pete until he explodes over her face.

This Ain’t Ghost Hunters XXX stars SinDee Jennings, Alexa Nicole, Kiara Diane, Victoria White, Krissy Lynn, Anthony Rosano, Brett Rockman, Kris Slater and Mr. Pete.

The parody DVD hits streets November 24, 2009!

Today George Romero’s Survival of the Dead launched a huge attack on the web by opening up several different things. They have official launched a Twitter and MySpace page and also tossed in a pretty cool behind the scenes video. Check out that video below and be sure to stick around for more as we hear it.

Zombie-palooza hit downtown Fremont July 3 and broke a Guinness World Record. The event was coined “Red White & Dead” in honor of the Fourth of July.

Thousands gathered by the cinema lot at Fremont studios at North 35th Street and Phinney Avenue North. Some had ripped pants, torn T-shirts, “severed skin” and blood, blood, blood.

They lurked the streets – a three block route – and earned double takes from drivers passing by – some amused, others puzzled.

Organizers registered 5,000 zombies to earn the world record.

Registration began at 6 p.m., and hordes of zombies continued stumbling in well after 8 p.m. The dance steps to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” were taught at 8:30 p.m. as a tip of the hat to the late pop super-star.

Drivers slowed and stopped with bemused tolerance as actors dressed as zombies paraded under the railroad bridge on Main Street on June 12. The 16 thespians were students from the Highland Lake-based Margolis Method Center, and they were making a three-minute zombie video as part of the 2009 Digit Exposition.

The exposition, sponsored by the Delaware Valley Arts Alliance, was held from June 12 through June 14, in various locations in Narrowsburg, and part of the lineup was a “Quick and Gritty Video Slam.” The slam consisted of five videos, each less than three minutes in length and shot during the weekend in Narrowsburg.

One of the performers, Sarah Harwood, said with a wide grin that the zombie filmmakers were “going for a kind of a metaphor. Sometimes, we all walk through life like zombies, so the film is kind of an advocation for living life to the fullest.”

Did they achieve that with their video? Go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4C3hZryQ2E to find out. The film tied for first place along with Cass Collin’s “Narrowsburg at Night.” Each was awarded a $500 prize.

Kari Margolis, founder of the Margolis Method and a co-founder of Margolis Brown Adaptors Company, said the company usually performs in places like New York City, and other places around the world with large venues.

She added, however, that this weekend the company will be staging a show at the Tusten Theater in Narrowsburg on June 20, at 8:00 p.m. It’s billed as a theatrical improvisational performance event. Go to www.margolismethod.org for more on the performance.

UP was good, in that whole animated-for-kids-but-ill-still-watch-it-cause-some-girl-i-like-wants-me-to-go-with-her kinda way. I would have preferred to see UP IRL and it looks like I just might be able to soon enough!

A man dressed for an evening zombie crawl chose a costume that was a bit too realistic, and it ended up getting him arrested.

Wearing all black, knee pads, a knife, grenade, a gas mask, and carrying what looked to be a machine gun, he walked into the Metro Clothing store Friday evening on Capitol Hill, which was sponsoring the zombie crawl to promote the Crypticon Horror Convention at the Seattle Center next weekend.

But apparently, someone thought a masked gunman was walking into a store, and called police. Witnesses say a dozen police cars converged on the scene and officers ran into the store, guns drawn.

“The police came in with guns and they caught the guy and I’m like, ‘Oh wait, he’s in costume,’ ” said Carl, the store’s owner.

Seage, the event’s organizer, says the man was dressed as one of the zombies from Resident Evil’s Umbrella Corporation.

“I guess it was a little too good,” she said. “It was too believable and that’s why the police showed up.”

The man arrested, who gave his name as “Jay,” says he wasn’t detained too long.

“It’s definitely understanding — they (police) weren’t aware of the event going on,” Jay said. “They just had to check me out (and they) let me go pretty quick once they saw what I was here for.”

Seage said she was surprised it caused such a commotion.

“I didn’t expect anyone to be arrested being dressed as a zombie because we did this last weekend,” she said. “(There were) a dozen of us walking around in full zombie gear — blood, guts and nasty skin hanging off and it just went fine.”

Carl said the man was the first one to arrive in costume, and he could understand how someone might mistake the costume for something more sinister.

“It would definitely alarm somebody that didn’t know what was going on,” he said. “I feel so sorry for this boy.”

Organizers said Jay won the top prize of the zombie crawl, which will get him a VIP pass to the Crypticon convention.

“In light of recent disturbing events like the global recession, the outbreak of H1N1, the ban on Canadian seal products, I fear a zombie attack is imminent,” explains Rosie Magellan of British Columbia, Canada. “So I’ve developed a Zombie Emergency Response Plan, or ZERP as I like to call it, for my community.”

“After the zombie movie Shaun of the Dead came out on DVD”, she continues, “I frequently heard the actors from the film stressing the importance of having one’s own plan for a zombie attack. I didn’t give this much thought because, well, they’re actors. What do they know? I mean, I have a Ph.D. in Comparative Syntax of Extinct Languages so I’m confident in my knowledge of everything. However, given the downward spiral in the state of the world, it’s only logical that zombies will be the next plague that hits us. My apologies to those young men for doubting them”

I am sitting with Rosie in the living room of her wood frame bungalow. She lives in a village on a lake, nestled in the central interior of British Columbia. “I feel compelled to share this information with my American cousins. Even though we live in different sociolinguistic regions, there may be certain aspects of our ZERP that you can apply to your own.”

“The nearest city”, she tells me, “is 96.315168 miles away, I converted that from kilometres, so we’re a bit isolated. This means we’re on our own in an emergency. We have three seasons: winter, not quite winter, and July.

With this in mind, there’s one feature of a zombie we can use to our advantage. Zombies lack the ability to feel physical discomfort so would be unaware they were becoming hypothermic. Lacking the sense to come in out of the cold or put on a coat, they would eventually develop hypothermia in cold temperatures. The effects of hypothermia are weakness and loss of muscle co-ordination. This would slow down the zombies, even immobilize them if temperatures were cold enough, providing a safe and easy opportunity to knock their brains out.”

Rosie picks up a book that looks strangely like an owners manual for a Plymouth Voyager. “My husband and I each wrote sections of this”, she says, and begins to read.

“If a zombie outbreak occurs in winter, lure your zombie outside where the -30 degree temperature will quickly immobilize it. Depending on when in winter this occurs, you could have up to six months to decide how to dispose of your zombie. I believe the method of zombie disposal is a personal choice so I leave that up to the individual, just be sure to destroy the head.

In the meantime, you could put your zombie to good use. The kids could use it as a snowman and dress it up with a top hat, scarf and corncob pipe. Or, you could adorn it with Christmas lights for a more festive appearance. Place a yard stick in its hand, if it still has a hand, and use it to measure snow depth. In other words, turn a scary situation into a bit of fun.

If an outbreak occurs when it’s not quite winter or in July, the outside temperature may not be cold enough to cause hypothermia. In this case, the ZERP Scene Commander (me) will lure the zombies into the hockey arena just around the corner from my house.

Some zombies will slip and fall as soon as they step onto the ice, hopefully smashing their heads open. Some zombies will trip over their fallen comrades, creating a pileup on the ice. The ones that don’t fall will soon succumb to the cold. This is when survivors armed with hockey sticks will leap over the boards and start slashing their heads off. Just another “Hockey Night in Canada” really.

Any leftover zombies will be lured into the curling rink next door where people armed with curling brooms will ram their broom handles into the zombies’ heads. Team skips will be on the side lines coaxing the warriors on with calls of “Hard! Hurry, hurry, hurry! Hard!”

If this does not completely eradicate the zombies, survivors are to make their way to the Legion. Assemble OUTSIDE the Legion, please. We don’t need any able-bodied persons being mistaken for a zombie because they are drunk. From the Legion we will lure the zombies down to the lake because that damn thing never warms up.

A word of caution, this plan has been selected as a last resort for two reasons. First, the swans may prove challenging. Our village has been given the title of “Swan Capital of the World” for a good reason. (It’s true, check it out on our website at www.stuartnechako.ca/fraser-lake.) The world’s largest trumpeter swan migration comes through here every year. Anyone who has had an altercation with a swan knows they can be nasty buggers, always hitting below the belt. The second reason this is not the preferred choice of action is that we take our water from the lake. The last thing you want is a rotting corpse clogging up your intake. That’ll leave a funny taste in your mouth, believe me.

Waiting on the beach will be boats manned by the Zombie Intelligence and Tactical Squadron (ZITS), volunteers chosen for their seacocks. Survivors will climb into the boats whilst pushing offshore. When the zombies follow you into the water they will quickly become hypothermic, making them easy targets. If this too fails, well, at least you are in a boat on a lake with lots of fish, and swans.”

Rosie closes the manual and looks up at me with moist eyes. “I hope you found this useful for writing your own ZERP. God willing, none of us will ever have to use one.”

“But if we do”, I reply, “I’m sure with courage and ingenuity, we will prevail.”

I would like to thank my husband for the inspiration for this article. He turns into a zombie every Saturday night. And every Sunday morning he has……you guessed it…wine flu. I don’t mind, really. It’s the only time I get to hit him with a hockey stick.

The Italian town of Pollica will soon offer Web cam services that enable people worldwide to check on the graves of their loved ones, Mayor Angelo Vassallo said.

Vassallo said because of numerous requests from tourists to be buried in the southern Italian town, the decision was made to sell tombs equipped with video and audio equipment, the Italian news agency, ANSA, reported Thursday.

The mayor said the technology will include a camera that pans the town’s graveyard while offering glimpses into the area’s scenery.

“We’ve decided to sell 150 tombs and, what’s more, give them the long-distance technology needed for distant relatives to commune with their dear departed,” the mayor said.

”A Web cam will be operational ’round the clock and there’ll also be a new sound system to give them a feel of the meditative atmosphere.”