If all of the film adaptations of Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” have left your brain numb, this one may really kill you … in a good way.

Natalie Portman has signed on to produce and star in the movie version of the best-selling book “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” written by Seth Grahame-Smith and, uh, Jane Austen.

This expanded version of the Austen classic adds a twist on the well-known love story when the outbreak of a deadly virus begins to turn townsfolk into killers. Elizabeth Bennet struggles to balance her blossoming love for Mr. Darcy with her obligation to kick some zombie butt.

And who better to bring the right combination of elegance, wit, and edginess to the role of Elizabeth Bennet than Portman? She certainly has the chops to convince us to embrace this version of Elizabeth — a woman who at long last will have a proper outlet for her sense of purpose.

Sure, zombies may seem like a peculiar addition to the original text, but there is something about the outbreak of the undead in 19th-century England that somehow makes the story more accessible.

The idea that love can blossom in spite of treacherous, external forces is really a modern concept. Besides, who hasn’t had to slay a couple of zombies to land Mr. Right?

When Maj. Brian Dennis of the United States Marine Corps met a wild stray dog with shorn ears while serving in Iraq, he had no idea of the bond they would form, leading to seismic changes in both their lives. “The general theme of the story of Nubs is that if you’re kind to someone, they’ll never forget you — whether it be person or animal,” Dennis tells Paw Nation.

In October 2007, Dennis and his team of 11 men were in Iraq patrolling the Syrian border. One day, as his team arrived at a border fort, they encountered a pack of stray dogs — not uncommon in the barren, rocky desert that was home to wolves and wild dogs.

“We all got out of the Humvee and I started working when this dog came running up,” recalls Dennis. “I said, ‘Hey buddy’ and bent down to pet him.” Dennis noticed the dog’s ears had been cut. “I said, ‘You got little nubs for ears.’” The name stuck. The dog whose ears had been shorn off as a puppy by an Iraqi soldier (to make the dog “look tougher,” Dennis says) became known as Nubs.

Dennis fed Nubs scraps from his field rations, including bits of ham and frosted strawberry Pop Tarts. “I didn’t think he’d eat the Pop Tart, but he did,” says Dennis.

At night, Nubs accompanied the men on night patrols. “I’d get up in the middle of the night to walk the perimeter with my weapon and Nubs would get up and walk next to me like he was doing guard duty,” says Dennis.
The next day, Dennis said goodbye to Nubs, but he didn’t forget about the dog. He began mentioning Nubs in emails he wrote to friends and family back home. “I found a dog in the desert,” Dennis wrote in an email in October 2007. “I call him Nubs. We clicked right away. He flips on his back and makes me rub his stomach.”

“Every couple of weeks, we’d go back to the border fort and I’d see Nubs every time,” says Dennis. “Each time, he followed us around a little more.” And every time the men rumbled away in their Humvees, Nubs would run after them. “We’re going forty miles an hour and he’d be right next to the Humvee,” says Dennis. “He’s a crazy fast dog. Eventually, he’d wear out, fall behind and disappear in the dust.”

On one trip to the border fort in December 2007, Dennis found Nubs was badly wounded in his left side where he’d been stabbed with a screwdriver. “The wound was infected and full of pus,” Dennis recalls. “We pulled out our battle kits and poured antiseptic on his wound and force fed him some antibiotics wrapped in peanut butter.” That night, Nubs was in so much pain that he refused food and water and slept standing up because he couldn’t lay down. Dennis and his team left again the next day, but Dennis thought about Nubs the entire time, hoping the dog was still alive.

Two weeks later, when Dennis and his team returned, he found Nubs alive and well. “I had patched him up and that seemed to be a turning point in how he viewed me,” says Dennis. This time, when Dennis and his team left the fort, Nubs followed. Though the dog lost sight of the Humvees, he never gave up. For two days, Nubs endured freezing temperatures and packs of wild dogs and wolves, eventually finding his way to Dennis at a camp an incredible 70 miles south near the Jordanian border.

“There he was, all beaten and chewed up,” says Dennis. “I knew immediately that Nubs had crossed through several dog territories and fought and ran, and fought and ran,” says Dennis. The dog jumped on Dennis, licking his face.

Most of the 80 men at the camp welcomed Nubs, even building him a doghouse. But a couple of soldiers complained, leading Dennis’ superiors to order him to get rid of the dog. With his hand forced, Dennis decided that the only thing to do was bring Nubs to America. He began coordinating Nubs’ rescue effort. Friends and family in the States helped, raising the $5,000 it would cost to transport Nubs overseas.

Finally, it was all arranged. Nubs was handed over to volunteers in Jordan, who looked after the dog and sent him onto to Chicago, then San Diego, where Dennis’ friends waited to pick him up. Nubs lived with Dennis’ friends and began getting trained by local dog trainer Graham Bloem of the Snug Pet Resort. “I focused on basic obedience and socializing him with dogs, people and the environment,” says Bloem.

A month later, Dennis finished his deployment in Iraq and returned home to San Diego, where he immediately boarded a bus to Camp Pendleton to be reunited with Nubs. “I was worried he wouldn’t remember me,” says Dennis. But he needn’t have worried. “Nubs went crazy,” recalls Dennis. “He was jumping up on me, licking my head.”

Dennis’ experience with Nubs led to a children’s picture book, called “Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine & a Miracle,” published by Little, Brown for Young Readers. They have appeared on the Today Show and will be appearing on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien on Monday.

Was it destiny that Dennis met Nubs and brought him to America? “I don’t know about that,” says Dennis. “It’s been a strange phenomenon. It’s been a blessing. I get drawings mailed to me that children have drawn of Nubs with his ears cut off. It makes me laugh.”

Clark Kent has had something of a strained relationship with his paternal Kryptonian father over the years. But that’s just what happens when a guy has to deal with the disembodied psychic computer version of a dad he never knew.

Well, as we reported back in September, a kinder, gentler Jor-El may just meet his son in the flesh for the first time in the Nov. 6 episode of “Smallville” entitled “Kandor.”

ComicsContinuum has an image gallery that previews actor Julian Sands portraying Superman’s scientist father Jor-El in traditional Kyrptonian threads, plus an episode synopsis from The CW. While it was originally believed that Sands would star in a flashback of some kind, it looks like his character could be entering mainstream continuity.

Jor-El’s appearance on Earth comes after nine seasons of his presumed death. Until now, a powerful artificial intelligence unit that stored his memories had been guiding Clark to embrace his Kryptonian side, resulting in the would-be Superman donning a Neo look and calling himself the Blue Blur while moonlighting as a crime fighter in Metropolis.

If Clark’s alien father has truly returned from the lost city of Kandor, it could mean big trouble for the young Man of Steel, especially if his criminal rival Zod finds him first. There’s also the small matter of the fate of Clark’s Kryptonian cousin, Kara, who left to find Kandor last season.

“Smallville” has been pretty hectic of late with a bevy of guest stars, including the Wonder Twins, Speedy and an upcoming appearance by the Justice Society. It remains to be seen just how the return of Jor-El will factor into what’s shaping up to be a busy season, but fans will be watching with eyes wide open.

As the nation continues to struggle in one of the worst economies in history Americans will require a bit more to actually feel fear this Halloween season. In response, Hauntworld Magazine (www.hauntworld.com), the Halloween and haunt industry’s leading trade publication, has announced listings of the most terrifying locations in America, including: the Top 31 Haunted Attractions (one for each day in October), the Top 10 Amusement Park Halloween events and more. These attractions are being recognized for their attention to detail, high-quality special effects, and overall “scare factor”.

The haunted houses and attractions on these lists aren’t your average neighborhood decorations. Each haunted attraction costs up to $1 million to construct, uses professionally trained actors, Hollywood make-up artists and the latest technology in order to transport people into an insane, realistic and horrific environment that rivals any horror movie set. The result is an industry that has grown to generate over $1 BILLION each season, redefining the way people celebrate Halloween.

“Americans have an intrinsic urge to conquer fear and the haunted attractions on these lists are as close as many can get to literally coming face-to-face with true terror,” said Larry Kirchner, Editor-in-Chief of Hauntworld Magazine. “Scary movies and roller coasters are great for a cheap thrill but what these attractions provide their visitors is a sense of exhilaration and an adrenaline rush that can only be felt from live action. These locations are examples of those places in the country you’ll be telling your friends you
survived, not visited.”

Top Professional Haunted Attractions: 2009

The Top 13 Haunted Attractions:
• 1. 13th Gate Haunted House – Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
• 2. Netherworld Haunted House – Atlanta, Georgia
• 3. The Beast – Kansas City, Missouri
• 4. The Darkness Haunted House – St. Louis, Missouri
• 5. House of Torment – Austin, Texas
• 6. Dent Schoolhouse – Cincinnati, Ohio
• 7. Bates Motel – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
• 8. Haunted Schoolhouse – Akron, Ohio
• 9. Bayville Screampark – Long Island, New York
• 10. House of Shock – New Orleans, Louisiana
• 11. Dead Acres – Columbus, Ohio
• 12. Headless Horseman – Ulster Park, New York
• 13. Graystone Manor – Killen, Alabama

And to visit a haunted attraction for each day of October, the list continues
to include:

• 1. Cutting Edge Haunted House, Dallas, Texas
• 2. Erebus Haunted House, Pontiac, Michigan
• 3. Edge of Hell, Kansas City, Missouri
• 4. Scarehouse, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
• 5. Creepyworld, St. Louis, Missouri
• 6. Haunted Overload, Lee, NH
• 7. Atrox Factory, Leeds, Alabama
• 8. Fright World, Buffalo, New York
• 9. Dreamreapers, Melrose Park, Illinois
• 10. Haunted Hotel, San Diego, California
• 11. Fright Kingdom, Nashua, NH
• 12. Asylum Haunted House, Denver, Colorado
• 13. Spookywoods, High Point, North Carolina
• 14. Pirates of Emerson, Fremont, California
• 15. The Asylum, Las Vegas, Nevada
• 16. Field of Screams, Mountville, PA
• 17. Bennett’s Curse, Baltimore, Maryland
• 18. Land of Illusion, Middletown, Ohio

Top 10 Amusement Park Halloween Events: 2009
• 1. Universal Studios Horror Nights, Orlando, FL
• 2. Knott’s Scary Farm, Los Angeles, CA
• 3. Tampa Busch Gardens, Tampa, FL
• 4. Universal Studios Horror Nights, Hollywood, CA
• 5. Kennywood Amusement Park, Pittsburgh, PA
• 6. Busch Gardens, Williamsburg, PA
• 7. King’s Island Haunt, Cincinnati, OH
• 8. Cedar Point Haunt, Sandusky, OH
• 9. Six Flags Fright Fest, NJ
• 10. Old Tucson Studios Nightfall, Tucson, AZ

Best Screamparks/Haunted Hayrides: 2009
• 1. Headless Horseman, Ulster Park, New York
• 2. Bates Motel, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania
• 3. Shocktoberfest, Reading, Pennsylvania
• 4. Field of Screams, Mountville, PA
• 5. Creepyworld, St. Louis, MO
• 6. Spookywoods, High Point, North Carolina
• 7. Bayville Screampark, Long Island, New York
• 8. Jason’s Woods, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
• 9. Halloween Park, Strinestown, Pennsylvania
• 10. 7 Floors of Hell, Cleveland, Ohio

Top 5 Places to get Scared in America: 2009
• 1. Salem, Massachusetts
• 2. Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
• 3. Winchester Mystery House, San Jose, California
• 4. The Mortuary Haunted House, New Orleans, Louisiana
• 5. Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Louisville, Kentucky

Despite what many of you may think, being a zombie is hard work, especially if you live in Japan. It’s not just about shuffling your feet and moaning unintelligible noises, it’s so much more than that!

The Ultimate Horror Maze is a 900 meter long labyrinth at Japan’s Fuji-Q Highland amusement park, infested by zombies, and largely regarded as the world’s longest and scariest house of horror. However, the maze was shut down temporarily so the zombies could attend a zombie boot camp after they were accused of not being scary enough.

Check out the video below to see how the zombies were put through their paces by a hyped up task master.

Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt believes that she is the perfect choice to play Amazonian superhero ‘Wonder Woman’ because she has the requisite physique for the part.

The ‘Ghost Whisperer’ actress wants to reprise the role made famous by ‘Lynda Carter’ in the cult 70s TV series, Contactmusic reported.

“I want to play Wonder Woman really badly. I want them to make the movie of ‘Wonder Woman’, and I want to play Wonder Woman so bad. That’d be really fun.

“I’m curvaceous. Gold bracelets! Look at these wrists… tell me gold bracelets would not look good! And I love little tiaras, and Wonder Woman got to wear one of those. I’m very athletic,” the actress said.

However the actress faces tough competition to land her dream role.

Singer-and-actress Beyonce Knowles, ‘High School Musical’ star Vanessa Hudgens and actress Jessica Biel are among those who have recently said they would love the chance to take on the title role in the much-speculated movie.

It’s official! David Arquette and Courteney Cox have signed on to reunite with the Ghostface killer.

“We are going to be doing Scream 4,” Arquette just told me from New York City, where he’s hanging out in plastic box over Madison Square Garden for Feeding America (more on that later). “Kevin Williamson is writing the script at this moment, and hopefully Wes Craven is going to direct.”

In the original horror trilogy, Arquette played Deputy Dewey Riley with Cox as a tabloid television reporter Gale Weathers…

Rumors began several months ago that the two were in talks for the fourth installment.

“I fell in love with my wife on Scream, so the opportunity to bring [Dewey] back to life and for my wife to play that really bitchy character again, it’s just going to be really fun,” Arquette said. “It’s just great.”

While Williamson recently revealed that Neve Campbell has turned down the chance to reprise her role as Sidney Prescott, Arquette said, “I hope Neve does it. I really hope so.”

As for a new storyline, Arquette laughed: “Kevin has sort of put out the broad strokes, but I don’t think I’m at liberty to share any of that.”

Zombie-palooza hit downtown Fremont July 3 and broke a Guinness World Record. The event was coined “Red White & Dead” in honor of the Fourth of July.

Thousands gathered by the cinema lot at Fremont studios at North 35th Street and Phinney Avenue North. Some had ripped pants, torn T-shirts, “severed skin” and blood, blood, blood.

They lurked the streets – a three block route – and earned double takes from drivers passing by – some amused, others puzzled.

Organizers registered 5,000 zombies to earn the world record.

Registration began at 6 p.m., and hordes of zombies continued stumbling in well after 8 p.m. The dance steps to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” were taught at 8:30 p.m. as a tip of the hat to the late pop super-star.

Television viewers knew him as the OxiClean guy: the bearded, boisterous pitchman on commercials airing hundreds of times a week nationwide. “Hi. Billy Mays here,” he would begin, before showing off his latest cleaning product or gadget.

Family, friends and colleagues mourned Mays, 50, who was found unresponsive in his Tampa home Sunday, and awaited an autopsy to determine the cause of his sudden death.

Police said Mays told his wife he didn’t feel well when he went to bed Saturday night. Earlier in the day, he said he was hit on the head when his airliner had a rough landing at Tampa Bay’s airport.

But the airline said no passengers reported any serious injuries, and Mays himself cheerfully recounted the landing for a local TV station. His wife, Deborah, found him unresponsive Sunday morning.

Tampa police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said linking Mays’ death to the landing would “purely be speculation.” She said Mays’ family members didn’t report any health issues with the pitchman, but said he was due to have hip replacement surgery in coming weeks.

“Although Billy lived a public life, we don’t anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days,” Deborah Mays said in a statement. “Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times.”

Billy Mays’ face was easily recognizable, pitching OxiClean, that he said got out even the toughest of stains, and Orange Glo, which he said shined up any wood around your home. “I love beautiful wood,” he tells customers.

There were no signs of a break-in at the home, and investigators do not suspect foul play, said Lt. Brian Dugan of the Tampa Police Department, who wouldn’t answer questions about how Mays’ body was found because of the ongoing investigation.

U.S. Airways confirmed that Mays was among the passengers on a flight that made a rough landing on Saturday afternoon at Tampa International Airport, leaving debris on the runway after apparently blowing its front tires.

Tampa Bay’s Fox television affiliate, WTVT-TV, interviewed Mays afterward.

“All of a sudden as we hit you know it was just the hardest hit, all the things from the ceiling started dropping,” MyFox Tampa Bay quoted him as saying. “It hit me on the head, but I got a hard head.”

Laura Brown, spokeswoman for the Federal Aviation Administration, said she did not know if Mays was wearing his seat belt on the flight because the FAA was not investigating his death.

U.S. Airways spokesman Jim Olson said there were no reports of serious injury due to the landing. “If local authorities have any questions for us about yesterday’s flight, we’ll cooperate fully with them,” he said.

Born William Mays in McKees Rocks, Pa., on July 20, 1958, Mays developed his style demonstrating knives, mops and other “As Seen on TV” gadgets on Atlantic City’s boardwalk. For years he worked as a hired gun on the state fair and home show circuits, attracting crowds with his booming voice and genial manner.

AJ Khubani, founder and CEO of “As Seen on TV,” said he first met Mays in the early 1990s when Mays was still pitching one of his early products, the Shammy absorbent cloth, at a trade fair. He said he most recently worked with Mays on the reality TV show “Pitchmen” on the Discovery Channel, which follows Mays and Anthony Sullivan in their marketing jobs.

“His innovative role and impact on the growth and wide acceptance of direct response television cannot be overestimated or easily replaced; he was truly one of a kind,” Khubani said in a statement.

After meeting Orange Glo International founder Max Appel at a home show in Pittsburgh in the mid-1990s, Mays was recruited to demonstrate the environmentally friendly line of cleaning products on the St. Petersburg-based Home Shopping Network.

Commercials and informercials followed, anchored by the high-energy Mays using them while tossing out kitschy phrases like, “Long live your laundry!”

Sarah Ellerstein worked closely with Mays when she was a buyer for the Home Shopping Network in the 1990s and he was pitching Orange Glo products.

“Billy was such a sweet guy, very lovable, very nice, always smiling, just a great, great guy,” she said, adding that Mays met his future wife at the network. “Everybody thinks because he’s loud and boisterous on the air that that’s the way he is, but I always found him to be a quiet, down-to-earth person.”

His ubiquitousness and thumbs-up, in-your-face pitches won Mays plenty of fans for his commercials on a wide variety of products. People lined up at his personal appearances for autographed color glossies, and strangers stopped him in airports to chat about the products.

“I enjoy what I do,” Mays told The Associated Press in a 2002 interview. “I think it shows.”

Mays liked to tell the story of giving bottles of OxiClean to the 300 guests at his wedding, and doing his ad spiel (“powered by the air we breathe!”) on the dance floor at the reception. Visitors to his house typically got bottles of cleaner and housekeeping tips.

His former wife, Dolores “Dee Dee” Mays, of McKees Rocks, recalled that the first product he sold was the Wash-matik, a device for pumping water from a bucket to wash cars.

“I knew him since he was 15, and I always knew he had it in him,” she said of Mays’ success. “He’ll live on forever because he always had the biggest heart in the world. He loved his friends and family and would do anything for them. He was a generous soul and a great father.”

Besides his wife, Mays is survived by a 3-year-old daughter and a stepson in his 20s, police said.

CBS has announced the premiere dates for its fall lineup, which will mostly launch during the week of Sept. 20, the official start of the 2009-2010 season.

In addition, the network announced that “Survivor: Samoa,” the 19th installment of the reality series, will start Sept. 17, a week prior to the formal launch of the season.

CBS’ new season will kick off Sept. 17 at 8 p.m. with the return of “How I Met Your Mother” and the premiere of the comedy “Accidentally on Purpose,” followed by “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory” and “CSI: Miami.”

Tuesday’s block will feature “NCIS,” followed by its spinoff, “NCIS: Los Angeles,” and the debut of the new drama “The Good Wife.”

Wednesday’s lineup will be “The New Adventures of Old Christine,” “Gary Unmarried,” “Criminal Minds” and “”CSI: NY.”

Thursday’s schedule will be “Survivor: Samoa,” followed by “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” and “The Mentalist” in its new 10 p.m. slot.

The move of NBC’s “Medium” to CBS will debut Sept. 25 at 9 p.m., preceded by “Ghost Whisperer” and followed by “Numb3rs.”

Saturday’s slate will be two hours of drama repeats, “Crimetime Saturday” followed by “48 Hours Mystery.” Sundays will mark the return of “60 Minutes” at 7 p.m., followed by “The Amazing Race” at 8 p.m. and “Cold Case” at 10 p.m. CBS’ new medical drama “Three Rivers” will premiere Oct. 4 at 9 p.m.